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Every January, many of us feel pressure to set New Year’s resolutions—eat better, be more productive, feel happier. While goal-setting can be motivating, research and clinical experience suggest that traditional resolutions often backfire. They tend to be rigid, perfectionistic, and rooted in a belief that something about us needs to be “fixed.” From a psychotherapy perspective, there may be a more sustainable and compassionate alternative: setting intentions rather than resolutions.
Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Don’t Last
Studies consistently show that most New Year’s resolutions fade within weeks. This isn’t due to a lack of willpower—it’s because resolutions are often framed as all-or-nothing outcomes (“I will stop procrastinating,” “I will never miss the gym”). When life inevitably interferes, people experience guilt and shame, which can actually reduce motivation and self-efficacy. In therapy, we frequently see how self-criticism—not lack of effort—becomes the biggest obstacle to change.
What Are Intentions?
Intentions focus on how you want to relate to yourself and your life, rather than on rigid outcomes. They are values-based, flexible, and responsive to context. For example:
- A resolution might be: “I will exercise five days a week.”
- An intention might be: “I want to move my body in ways that support my mental health.”
Intentions allow for adjustment without failure. They make room for rest, illness, grief, and changing circumstances—realities that don’t disappear just because it’s a new year.
Intentions and Mental Health
From a psychological standpoint, intentions support autonomy, self-compassion, and emotional regulation. Research on motivation suggests that values-driven change is more sustainable than externally pressured or shame-based goals. When people act in alignment with their values, they are more likely to experience meaning and long-term engagement. Therapy can be a helpful space to clarify intentions—especially when people feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of what they actually need.
How Therapy Supports Intentional Change
Rather than asking, “What should I do differently this year?” therapy often asks:What matters most to you right now? What patterns are no longer serving you?What support would make change feel safer and more realistic? Intentions are not about lowering standards—they are about creating change that is humane, flexible, and grounded in self-understanding.
Starting the Year With Support
You don’t need a crisis to benefit from therapy. Many people begin therapy in the new year as a way to reflect, reset gently, and build skills that support long-term wellbeing. If you’re curious about approaching this year with more compassion and clarity, therapy can help you move forward in a way that actually lasts.
If you’re interested in setting intentions that align with your values and mental health, we invite you to book an appointment with one of our therapists. Starting therapy in January doesn’t mean pushing harder—it can mean listening more closely.
